Giving up effort

“As a dreamer it seems convincing that you are an individual who can make an effort to get from A to B. In reality there is no you and no A or B. But going even deeper than that, there is no-one that can make an effort and there is no-one that can give up seeming to make an effort. ”

Tony Parsons. “Nothing Being Everything”.

When I first came across the “message” of non-dualism, it was a rude shock. I had spent a “long time,” “many years,” in trying to pay attention to myself and my surroundings, understand myself better, come to a state of peace and calm, improve my psychological state, have more compassion and … the list is already quite long.

When I read statements like the one above by Tony, then I began to “give up effort.” And this led to my second rude shock. I can’t really either acquire or give up anything. The one to whom acquisition and renunciation is happening is a dreamer.

There is only the flow of life and experience. This is essentially undefinable. Thought and the dreamt thinker may try to make sense of the flow, apply labels to the flow. But do labels really capture reality?

Just as much as striving is of no avail, giving up striving is of no avail either. There is only what is.

What appears to be

“We appear to live in a world inhabited by individuals who, to a greater or lesser extent, have free will, choice and the ability to take action which brings about consequences. This reality is almost universally accepted without question.”

Tony Parsons. “Nothing Being Everything”.

Are we individuals? Pause. Do we have free will? Pause. Do we have choices? Pause.

These are amongst the most uncomfortable questions a human being can ask of herself. Everything in society–our laws, our religion, education, work–would answer “yes” to the above.

But these questions do not go away. And they have the power to collapse the whole structure of our worlds, both inner and outer, and to reveal the mystery. Like the burning point of the incense stick, they can reduce ignorance and error to mere ash.

However, there are no guarantees in this realm.

Definition

Our thought processes inevitably tend towards definition. We seek to define outward life situations–work, relationships– as well as our “inner” states. Is she friend or foe? An inner heuristic quickly supplies an answer. Do I feel like a success or a failure today? Likewise, another heuristic.

This is a convenient layer that thought paints over what is essentially mysterious and unknown. Life as we experience it is, if we pay attention, a complex tangle of sensation, feeling, perception, thought, memory, action, bodily impulse. But our attention is sucked, as if by a magnet, toward what our specific thought processes define our life as.

We can recognise that thought is just one of many players in the movie of life. This moment is unknown. Not as an idea, but as a lived reality.

Our lives escape definition at all levels. The unknown is the unknown. Labels are fundamentally empty.